


Sinceramente Duele Recordarte

by fineh



Category: Jane the Virgin (TV)
Genre: Background Jane Ramos/Petra Solano, F/F, Post-Season/Series 04, Tumblr Prompt, jetra if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-21 18:16:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17048189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fineh/pseuds/fineh
Summary: "Maybe, just maybe, I have a big house and no one to share it with."In which Jane tries to help Petra deal.





	Sinceramente Duele Recordarte

**Author's Note:**

> A sad holiday fic because why not?

_It’s so cold so I decided we needed to burn some shit._

* * *

 

“Um,” Jane’s approach was measured, warily watching Petra tear into a stack of magazines. No pattern or reason to the small fire she was feeding. “What are you doing?”

“It’s cold so I decided we needed to burn some shit.”

Jane found that extremely hard to believe, especially coming from Petra. “You? Miss I’m-Never-Cold-And-You’re-All-Peasants-For-Being-Cold.”

“I’ve never said that.”

No, she’d just implied it, multiple times.

Grabbing a magazine she figured she’d join her, because despite the nasty smell a fire was something that intrigued everyone, including Jane. Shaking her head, Jane took a seat next to Petra in front of the chairs she’d set up by the fireplace. She ripped the pages one by one, stacking them into a neat pile.

Petra had been melancholy all day, full of half-smiles and sad eyes Jane couldn’t address in front of the kids. So she tore and stacked waiting for Petra to tell her what was wrong. She would, Jane was sure of it, it would just take her a while. She was feeding her tenth page into the flames when Petra finally burst. Throwing an entire magazine into the fireplace with enough force to make Jane jump back.

“Maybe I just wanted to burn shit,” Petra growls an explanation Jane hadn’t been expecting. “Maybe I have a fireplace in Florida of all places.” She grabbed another magazine, throwing it into the fireplace to join the other, embers flying everywhere, Petra carried on uncaring, while Jane lept to her feet stomping the glowing embers out. “And maybe, just maybe, I have a big house and no one to share it with.”

Jane stops stomping, and there it is, the source of the literal and metaphorical fire.

Lonlieness.

“Petra…” Jane steps closer but Petra turns away still slightly uncomfortable with any type of emotion that isn’t anger.

“It’s okay Jane, I know what I did.” Petra abandons the fire and after a cursory glance so does Jane, sinking down next to Petra on the couch. “It’s just some days it hits me more than others. Today was one of them.”

It’s been about six months since the night of Abuela’s citizenship party, a night that had been monumental for almost everyone, but especially Petra. JR left and aside from a phone call telling her she was leaving Florida, Petra hasn’t heard from her. The way things ended for them had been anything but ideal and Jane knows it. The closure wasn’t there and sometimes the wound would creep up on Petra, and Petra would let it, content to shoulder all the blame and guilt. On some days like today, Jane was there to help close it.

“Petra,” The holidays had a nasty way of reminding people they were alone. The other day Jane had found herself in the middle of Target with a list that for the first time in ten years was missing a significant other. There was something about the supposed festive days that drew the loneliness out from corners Jane didn’t even know existed. For Petra, it was probably worse. Jane had regained a husband, now best friend, but Petra had lost the small nuclear family she’d built up for herself. It was hard but still, “It’ll get easier.”

“Will it?” Petra asks sniffling.

“Maybe.” It’s the truth and it makes Petra laugh like Jane knew she would, body shaking, a small smirk replacing the downtrodden frown.

“You’re not as idealistic as you used to be.” Petra muses, voice thick with emotion.

“You’re not as closed off as you used to be.” She wasn’t, and part of it was their previous fallouts, but most of it was the effort Petra had put in, to be different for the sake of herself.

“I miss her.” Petra sighs into the mostly empty room.

“I know.” Whatever their issues, Petra had loved JR, of that, Jane was sure.

“It gets easier,” Jane repeated because Petra needed to know that, to internalize it. The image of Petra sitting all alone in this big house, agonizing over past mistakes didn’t sit well with her.

“I know.” Petra had experience piecing herself together, far more than Jane did, and it bothered Jane more than she cared to admit. Despite her occasional faults that were now far and few between, Petra deserved to be happy.

“She might come back.” Jane offers because it’s still a possibility.

Petra shook her head at Jane’s optimism, “She won’t, and it’s okay.”

It wasn’t okay now, but Jane was willing to pretend along with Petra until it finally was.

“C’mon,” Jane patted Petra’s leg, nudging her into motion, “let’s put this fire to use and make some smores, I think there’s still stuff leftover from last week. They’ll taste better than they did out of the microwave.”

“Yeah, okay.” Petra acquiesces, “I’ll go get the kids. They’ll kill us if we don’t share.”

Jane leaves her in the living room to recompose herself like she knows she’ll do. Rummaging around the kitchen she curses the couple of inches Petra has on her. The box of graham crackers sitting just out of her reach. Abandoning them, she grabs the marshmallows and chocolate bars instead. She’ll grab the stool when she’s sure Petra’s upstairs.

“Jane?” Petra’s voice is soft as she stands in the doorway, tucking her hair behind her ear, a habit she has when she’s nervous.

Petra’s feelings have this transference about them, she has the ability to make people feel what she wants them to feel, it’s what makes her a formidable boss and woman. Right now, Jane can’t help but feel a little nervous. “Yeah?”

“Thanks.” She’s gone before Jane can formulate a response, disappearing, Jane can hear her make her way up the stairs to the playroom.

Jane stays frozen, hands on the bars she’d been stacking because Petra had smiled, the light reaching her eyes, warming Jane in a way that shouldn’t have been possible. Stealing whatever response she could have given her right out of Jane’s head.

Jane stares at the empty doorway, “You’re welcome.”

**Author's Note:**

> find me here on [tumblr](http://finehs.tumblr.com)


End file.
